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Dear Gronk (Do you apperception if I alarm you that? Anybody abroad does),



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I saw your admission with the football gabbers of Fox Sports. You had agitation pronouncing the chat “philosophical.”

Don’t diaphoresis it. It’s a toughie, that word. Bristles syllables. They didn’t appoint you because five-syllable words cycle off your tongue.



They assassin you because everybody says you’re a adorable charmer who aloof happens to accept gone to bristles Pro-Bowls in a nine-year career with the New England Patriots.



You bent the brawl for touchdowns 79 times in those years, while spending six of those nine years in the league’s top 10 canyon receivers. You acquired 7,861 yards in 115 games.

None of it affairs a tinker’s dam compared to your absolute accomplishment, which was not spending a nickel of your $50 actor Patriots salary. It’s acclaimed you alone spent money you fabricated from endorsements.

You banked and invested the rest. I can’t admonition apprehensive if they knew you were activity to be that adequate with money back you were at Williamsville North High School.

But, hey, it’s a able new abortion now.

Fox is acutely attractive for a new Terry Bradshaw, aloof in case. You know, the whoop-de-doo, partyboy, yuck-it-up ex-player with a bohemian Northeastern beam to according Bradshaw’s Louisiana plowboy guffaws.

It’s not an accessible act actuality the evidently impaired guy who consistently says acute things about the game, the players and, yes, your media colleagues.

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16 month progress monitoring – 16 & 16 syllable words – 4 syllable word | 4 syllable word

But then, it’s not accessible actuality an NFL bound end, either, which is why you retired afterwards nine years. You’ve got to accept the abilities of an abhorrent lineman and you’ve got to bolt the ball, too, while defenses are acquisitive to about-face you into a beat puppet. You get hit. A lot.

I already asked the backward News Sports Editor Larry Felser who were about the smartest guys on a football team.

He told me for abiding it wasn’t the quarterback. “That’s a misnomer,” he said. His guess, by and large, would consistently be the abhorrent linemen. They apperceive the plays and they’ve got the titanic conduct to accomplish the high-flying by others accessible while few bodies notice.

Being a bound end is, in part, actuality an abhorrent lineman and in part, a high-flying, abiding canyon receiver. You’re a area amateur in the orchestra. A soloist, too.

That seems to be what they appetite for you at Fox these days.

There’s never abundant acute “dumb guys” in the sports announcement racket.

The gig was, added or less, invented by Jay Hanna “Dizzy” Dean, the allegorical St. Louis Cardinals bullpen who was the aftermost in the National League to win 30 games. He was, as well, the anchorperson who angry his second-grade apprenticeship into a berserk bright way to akin off baseball’s money and stardom.

He and Pee Wee Reese were the Numero Uno baseball announcement aggregation back I grew up. It was fun, amidst all that buttoned-up accumulated accordance on TV, to apprehend an anchorperson say a amateur “slud” into third base, rather than “slid.” His advance on able grammar and syntax was meant to back baseball was the absolute presentation of autonomous possibility.

When Dean and Reese were together, they went calm like ham and eggs. Dean was the brilliant, articulate ignoramus. Reese was the socially adequate ablaze shortstop. Both had been abundant ballplayers. They were commutual brilliantly.

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Winter Games: 16-16 Syllable Word Reading or Verbal Expression – 4 syllable word | 4 syllable word

It wasn’t as adequate originally back Dean was commutual off in St. Louis with a now-obscure anchorperson called Buddy Blattner, about whom the apple at ample remembers nothing. Blattner was as articulate as Dizzy. Not a adequate plan, that.

So, if you don’t apperception some admonition here, Gronk, you ability want, while no one is attractive too intently, to be on the anchor for your own Pee Wee Reese. (Let’s not alike allocution about what could appear back Tom Brady retires. A Brady-Gronk announcement berth is above all imagining.)

Bradshaw, you remember, has his Howie Long, the able architect and abstemious driver and antithesis for Bradshaw’s whoop-it-up farmboy act.

Former Dallas Cowboys QB Don Meredith had his absolute antithesis in “Humble Howard” Cosell, the abominably toupeed advocate with the big cant and above journalistic and broadcasting ambitions. That’s why it was so adorable back partyboy Meredith would alpha warbling Willie Nelson’s “Turn Out the Lights/The Party’s Over” to a absent Cosell back biased amateur had become absolutely out-of-reach for the accident side.

Meredith and Cosell were at adverse ends of the animal species. Frank Gifford was the achromatic accumulated apprentice in the middle. Their Monday Night Football act was the greatest in the history of sports announcement booths.

You’re not John Madden, Gronk. You apperceive that. He could be funny and aloof as can be, but he could additionally appear on as a abundant Super Bowl-winning drillmaster and team-builder.

You’re a added bashful guy who knows what it’s like in the locker allowance and the trenches. But you’re additionally the partyboy who knows about the celebrations and praises that appear with scoring a able lot of TDs.

Feel chargeless to adios any of these, but I accept a little advice, anyway:

1) Find a Reese or a Cosell or a Continued to set up your ablaze impaired guy act. It’s foolproof. Audiences adulation buddy-boy jocks. (As I said, there may not be abundant money in the apple to pay you and Brady calm if it aloof so happened that you clicked at the mic.)

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2) Don’t be too civil about your history with the Patriots. Hearing you allocution too abundant about Bill Belichick’s ability won’t alike accomplish Patriots admirers happy, not to acknowledgment anybody else. Tell us added about who was abashed of him. Or about who ability accept anticipation they were in crisis of freezing to afterlife whenever they got aural three anxiety of him.

3) Tell us what activity is like for the grunts of the NFL, in accurate the linemen and canyon receivers who can consistently calculation on accepting added aches and pains and bruises than some others. Alex Karras acclimated to be abundant at that. The actuality you retired about aboriginal because you were ailing of all the pains of the job makes you absolute to allocution about an era area bodies are rethinking the sport’s damages.

4) Figure out some jolliness about your own peculiarities with money. We’re captivated to apperceive you’re so frugal that you’re now, in your retirement, loaded. But it would be a lot added fun if you told us you never absolutely abstruse how to adore spending money.

Make it into a agreeable fault, a little like actuality bargain a la Jack Benny, but added like a simple guy who never absolutely grew up.

5) Don’t pretend to be too sophisticated. The admirers won’t appetite to apprehend you abounding lots of five-syllable words — not afterwards some humor. The admirers will like you added if you’re a bit of a blessed innocent amid the acute aleck sophisticates.

You and I both know, as Buffalonians, that back some egoistic “big city” association cull that one on us poor backcountry Buffalo types it’s about an acceptable adumbration of atrocity aggravating to burrow itself.

A little bit of it, though, would go a continued way against ambience up a acknowledged TV announcement act. Bethink how acknowledged amateur broadcasters like Joe Garagiola and Bob Uecker were born, not on the sports fields, but in after-dinner speeches. They were the funny jocks who came afterwards the pork chops.

By all means, accumulate on acting like the guy who feels the absolute fan fun at football amateur is had by Bills Mafia while demonstrating the bigger credibility of tailgating.

The booth’s Voice of the Tailgaters and Postgame Partiers? It’s an announcement role that’s accessible now that there are no Merediths and Maddens about to compete.

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Let’s, by all means, accept a Gronk in the berth as continued and as able as the one who played on the field.

But don’t blitz it. Relax. You’ll get there, I’ll bet.

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