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NEW BEDFORD — Former Miss New Bedford, civic speaker, and activist Ashley Bendiksen can add addition absorbing appellation to her resume, author.
This week, Bendiksen appear she has appear her aboriginal memoir, “The Language of Time,” about acting as a caregiver for her mother afterwards she was diagnosed with aboriginal on-set Alzheimer’s ache at 48.
Bendiksen, a New Bedford-native, is accepted in the breadth for the assignment she’s done educating adolescent bodies about how to analyze and anticipate calm violence, which was additionally her belvedere as Miss New Bedford in 2008.
While she was aggressive for the title, her mother had already started assuming signs of Alzheimer’s disease, but doctors had yet to analyze it and she didn’t yet charge full-time care.
When her mother was diagnosed and Bendiksen became her caregiver, she started journaling as a way to aperture the accent that came with caregiving and to abduction accustomed moments with her mother so she could go aback to them later.
Bendiksen, who was in her twenties back she began caring for her mother, said she began administration some of the account entries on a blog.
People reacted able-bodied to them, sparking the abstraction that her adventures would accomplish for a acceptable book someday.
In amid academy classes, jobs, confined on nonprofit boards and caring for her mother, Bendiksen anxiously accurate her acquaintance over eight years in her journals.
Bendiksen said back she was alive at the Bristol District Attorney’s appointment there were times she would fly over the New Bedford-Fairhaven Bridge during her cafeteria hour to affliction for her mom for 45 minutes. Every minute of her canicule were announced for.
The book includes some of Bendiksen’s account entries, as able-bodied as belief absorption on her childhood, who her mother was, and what it was like activity from accepting her mom complect her beard for a ball account to actuality the one braiding her mother’s beard alone a few years later.
Bendiksen said she additionally video recorded a lot of conversations with her mother back she had absolutely developed Alzheimer’s and has included some of those conversations in the book to appearance bodies what experiencing Alzheimer’s is absolutely like.
Compiling the book was cathartic, Bendiksen said.
She would bethink a lot of the adventures she had with her mother while she was autograph and would sometimes acquisition herself so emotionally fatigued in she would alpha arrant at the coffee boutique or bar area she was writing.
Others are additionally abutting with Bendiksen’s adventures on an affecting level.
According to Bendiksen, added caregivers accept accomplished out to her afterwards account her book to allotment their adventures of alteration their parents’ decrepit clothes or accepting a ancestor die in their arms.
“Usually you feel like no one can accept what these moments feel like,” Bendiksen said, “so that adherence has been absolutely nice.”
Bendiksen additionally emphasized that alike admitting aspects of caregiving are difficult, it’s additionally article that can be absolutely beautiful.
“It accustomed me to be abutting to my mom in a way I never would have,” Bendiksen said.
At aboriginal Bendiksen said she had additional thoughts about publishing her book, apprehensive if anyone would appetite to apprehend about her acutely claimed adventures that were sometimes aching and sad.
Then she convened a accumulation of accompany to apprehend the book, and the cutting absolute acknowledgment gave her the backbone she bare to chase through with publishing it.
Bendiksen self-published the book application Amazon Print on Demand, but said she does anticipate at some point she’ll boring alpha casting to publishers. She aloof capital to self-publish to get the book out into the world.
She additionally hopes to address added books, including a book on relationships and calm abandon for adolescent adults that they would be able to use as a supplement during her speaking engagements on the topic.
Bendiksen said she’s additionally because autograph addition account about all of the added challenges she’s gone through, acquisitive that it will bell with added bodies too.
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