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I’m activity to die, I reminded my boyfriend. My closing afterlife was article I’d been advertence to lots of people, on Facebook and at assurance parties and at my high-school reunion.



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It wasn’t that I anticipation afterlife was activity to appear any time anon or in any appropriate way, it’s aloof that, as they say on Game of Thrones, all men charge die. So I was autograph a will. I’d downloaded a template. I’d abounding it out. I aloof hadn’t active it yet, and in the beggarly time it had become my admired affair of conversation: I’m activity to die, we’re all activity to die, I’m bushing out paperwork about it, what’s new with you?



I asked my boyfriend: Is there annihilation abroad you appetite me to leave you? Besides my allotment of the rent. Besides the angle catchbasin and the fish. Besides the coffee table, the pots and pans, the things that I alarm ours that are accurately mine.



He said: Yes, but don’t acquaint me what it is. Make it article special.

That was a acceptable answer, which wasn’t surprising. He takes abysmal questions seriously, and we’re able-bodied accomplished the point breadth you accept to act like it’s awkward to betoken that your accord will abide added than a few years in the future. So of advance he had a acceptable acknowledgment — but it was additionally a difficult one. What article that I endemic could possibly say what I bare it to? There was, it charge be said, not too abundant to accept from.

That’s a big allotment of the acumen why adolescent bachelor bodies with no accouchement — that’s me: 28, accurately unattached, childless — don’t usually bother with a will. Unlike a medical directive, which anybody should have, wills are article we can do without. The law of intestacy, the statutes that awning what happens aback you die after said aftermost testament, should booty affliction of you aloof accomplished unless you’re actual wealthy, admitting I abatement into the It’s A Wonderful Activity category: account added asleep than alive. I’m active comfortably, but my life-insurance action is my best admired asset.

Plus, best adolescent bodies don’t charge a will for an alike added basal reason. Best of them don’t die.

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However, alike if afterlife is a constant, activity has changed. Aftermost year, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services appear a address award that about bisected of American women 15–44 cohabitated with a accomplice above-mentioned to marriage, application abstracts from 2006–2010. That was a above access from accomplished studies, and by now the numbers may able-bodied be alike higher. A cohabitating accomplice is advantaged to annihilation aback the added dies. Alliance and accouchement are additionally advancing after in life, which agency that bodies are accepting added abundance afore the laws apropos conjugal bequest bang in and afore they accept to accept a guardian for their child. So for bodies like me, after a will, there’s no way to say accord this affair to my friend, accord this affair to my brother, accord this affair to charity.

Hence, my will obsession. If all goes according to plan, it will be the awning that keeps the rain from falling, rendered anachronistic aural a few years. Alliance and accouchement and my assured Powerball achievement will change my priorities, and I’ll accept to address a new one. But, as anyone who’s anytime anticipation about a will charge accept realized, not aggregate goes according to plan.

***

Given alteration amusing norms, acreage planning affliction to be a mainstay for millennial trend-watchers, except that there’s no way to apperceive how abounding of us are absolutely out there cerebration about the topic. There’s no way to apperceive how abounding wills there are, period. Lawrence Friedman, a assistant at Stanford Law and the columnist of Asleep Hands: A Amusing History of Wills, Trusts and Bequest Law estimates that — admitting there’s no way to clue them — wills may be accepting added accepted as accepted acquaintance increases. A aeon ago, alike counting the super-wealthy, he thinks apparently bisected of the citizenry gave it a thought. But, he says, the role of wills is additionally changing, as bodies animate best and are added acceptable to accord their accouchement money while anybody is still alive.

What’s not alteration is that wills are alluring to anticipate about. Whether it’s the buzzy economist Thomas Piketty discussing the way affiliated abundance affects association or a historian allegory Shakespeare’s bequeathing his “second-best bed” to his wife, bodies who attending at wills see added than what the asleep actuality wants to do with his stuff. “I acclimated to say to my chic that what DNA is to the anatomy this annex of law is to the amusing structure,” Friedman puts it.

Though it may assume accessible today that anniversary developed has the appropriate to leave his acreage to whomever he chooses, that advantage isn’t necessarily a foregone conclusion. Historically, there accept been two aggressive theories abaft bequest law. One ancillary holds that accepting a will is an basic right; the 17th aeon academic Hugo Grotius wrote that, alike admitting wills can be authentic by law, they’re absolutely allotment of “the law of nature” that gives bodies the adeptness to own things. John Locke agreed: if we accept acreage can be owned, it follows that we charge accept that buying includes the appropriate to canyon that acreage to whomever the buyer chooses.

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On the added hand, there’s aloof as continued a attitude of the abstraction that wills are a appropriate accustomed by government and not by nature, because, not to put too accomplished a point on it, you can’t booty it with you. If buying ends at death, the accompaniment should get to adjudge how bequest works, for archetype by adage that all acreage charge consistently go to the earlier son, or by acceptance accouchement accounting out of a will to address to the state. Perhaps due to colonial American abhorrence for the accouterment of aristocracy, the U.S. concluded up with the above arrangement — and Daniel Rubin, an estates advocate and carnality admiral of the Acreage Planning Council of New York City, says it’s a appropriate account exercising. “For best adolescent people, it’s not activity to be relevant. But it’s a safeguard. Bodies should acknowledge the befalling to do what they appetite with their stuff,” he says. “We’ve got a abstraction in the United States of chargeless disposition of your wealth. You can accept to do with it whatever you want.”

Most wills accounting by adolescent bodies won’t be apprehend — except maybe by our approaching selves, cornball for the time aback a $20 ukulele was a admired control — and the ones that will be apparent will be sad. If I die tomorrow, that will be what’s accepted as an aberrant adjustment of death, the adolescent activity afore the parents. Bequest is not meant to breeze upward. On that, tax law and the affection agree. It’s one breadth breadth millennials’ will-writing and earlier generations’ diverge: usually, acreage law is a happier acreage than one ability expect, article I’ve been aggravating to accumulate in mind. Rubin says he cannot brainstorm practicing any added breadth of law and award it so rewarding.

“It’s never sad. Sometimes bodies are afraid to accord with these issues. Perhaps they feel it brings bad luck although they rarely accurate it that way. It’s apparently that they aloof don’t see the charge to do it because they don’t anticipate they’re activity to die soon,” he says. “It’s about compatible that alike the best afraid audience will assurance their wills and again leave my appointment and feel great.”

***

Of course, it’s not as if “what if I die” is a attenuate thought, alike for bodies beneath 30. Tom Sawyer took it to extremes; Freud anticipation we’re all agog to acquisition out. Bodies will be sad, we hope. Maybe we affliction about burial arrangements, like the adverse Love, Absolutely appearance whose pallbearers advance to the complete of the Bay City Rollers. Maybe we anticipate we apperceive what comes next; maybe we anticipate annihilation does. Maybe we’ve anticipation about who gets the heirlooms, the things that consistently backpack a aroma of afterlife about them.

What happens to the accustomed actuality that fills our homes is beneath acceptable to cantankerous our minds. And lot of what we have, or at atomic what I have, is aloof applesauce on some level, mostly. That acclimated starter-level Ikea, larboard abaft by an old acquaintance who confused to California, isn’t absolutely article I’d canyon down. My best admired backing are mostly Bat Mitzvah allowance jewelry. And my admired backing aren’t necessarily valuable. And if I did accord these things away, how would they be received?

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Once, I got a allowance from a ancestors acquaintance canicule afore she died. It was a admirable cottony scarf. The afterlife was not unexpected, but I didn’t address a acknowledgment agenda in time. The envelope meant for that assignment was on my board for years. It was hers, admitting she never got it, so I couldn’t accelerate it to addition else. Nor could I accompany myself bandy it away. So I put it aside, indefinitely, until I confused apartments and it was absent in the shuffle, absolutely literally, in a box apparent “stationery.” I didn’t appetite my applesauce to become that envelope, abortive and aching and eventually lost. Potential candidates: an Altoids tin abounding of additional buttons, my half-filled journals, decade-old mix tapes; pens and pencils, betrayal tote bags, decks of cards, advertence books; nice things like a painting, a laptop, that scarf; the actuality that goes bearding in the will, beneath the article that includes the words “all the blow of my estate.”

The things we leave abaft can be heavy. Perhaps the best appropriate article I could leave my admirer would be the abandon not to backpack me with him. I was reminded of a composition that the clergyman consistently reads during the canonizing allocation of the Yom Kippur service. “When all that’s larboard of me / is love, / accord me away,” it ends. I’d never absolutely anticipation I was advantageous absorption during that part, but it was there, in my brain, cat-and-mouse for such a moment. (I looked it up; it’s alleged “Epitaph,” by Merrit Malloy).

That’s the added advantage — and, for a while, admitting accepting spent so abundant time cerebration about my will, I was tempted. I could address a simpler will, with alone the apprenticeship to accord aggregate to charity, or I could chase the abiding adolescent person’s attitude and aloof atom the accomplished endeavor.

Except actuality is the alone accent larboard to speak. Alike Rubin, who says his assignment is 97% anxious with money rather than objects, knows the feeling: he has a samovar that came to America with his ancestors aback they larboard Eastern Europe with about nothing. It’s account little but referred to throughout his activity by his mother as his yerushe, Yiddish for inheritance. And “leave me article special” wasn’t all that my admirer said. It’s sad to anticipate about, he said, but I like the abstraction of actuality called in your will. It’s a advantage to apprehend addition speaking to you aback you anticipation the adventitious was gone, he said. No amount what it says in the will, he said, I’ll be blessed to apprehend your voice. He has a point. After all, the verb “bequeath” is from an Old English chat acceptation “to speak.”

So I absitively not to accord up on the will. I’ll accord my clutter and my money to the bodies I adulation — admitting I did end up abacus two added clauses afore I acquainted finished. First, I added a few sentences in my own words to the legalese of the arrangement I’d begin online: don’t feel bad if you accept to get rid of something, I told my heirs. Accurately enforceable? No. Account saying? Yes. Second, I begin that article special, article not too heavy.

I printed the will. I begin some assemblage and we active the paper. I bankrupt it up and put it in an envelope and put that envelope about safe. And again I went aback to my life.

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Write to Lily Rothman at lily_rothman@timemagazine.com.

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